Here in Lithuania, one of the hottest discussion topics amongst high school minors is the anticipation of turning eighteen years old.

Young adolescent people often find it hard to cope with their parents’ restrictions and terms, justifying their actions by stating that while they are still technically minors, they are no longer children. They demand more freedom, seek independence… and in the end succumb to their parents’ sensible arguments only to find them impossible to accept yet again. But then after a couple of years, they wake up one day only to realize, that they have turned 18. Having waited so long for it to happen, what is their first thought? Do they jump upright in their beds, recalling that they had absolutely forgotten to pick up the birthday cake from the store or do they feel disgruntled by the fact that the final exams have drawn one day closer? Do they suddenly feel excitement scorching their insides as the list of new things they can now (legally) experience flashes in front of their eyes?

Is there anyone that considers moving out of their parents’ home immediately (just like they said they would, a million times before), now that they are legally old enough to live the free life they had longed for?

Or are there people that smile thoughtfully, remembering their heated rants about this very moment, and simply go back to sleep, accepting that nothing has changed?

I find this phenomenon funny. First of all, while turning eighteen is important legally, life never works in such strict ways. Primary example of this is the fact that those who boast about turning 18 most are usually the ones who start enjoying the advantages(?) of adult life early, so in practice it doesn’t really mean anything. In fact, this behavior is so widespread that I can’t honestly imagine someone waiting for majority to start, for example, smoking. In turn, this vastly reduces the role of 18th birthday as an important boundary between minority and majority, at least for those crossing it.

Another point of view, although overshadowed by both anticipation and indifference, is fear of the eighteenth birthday. As in many cases, both extremes are unnatural and perhaps even silly: even though the loss of dependence on parents might not be perfect for everyone, I think that if one has to worry about being treated differently after the coming of age, problem is not the age.

Is it really that important legally? It is true that after turning eighteen you are considered a full-fledged citizen, you gain the right to vote and can express your opinions more freely. You no longer bear the status of a minor and have permission to indulge yourself in almost any activity you find entertaining. However, how is that a change at all for young people nowadays? Hardly any of them even follow the news regularly, not to mention paying attention to the underwater currents of politics. As for drugs, alcohol and smoking, nobody even bothers to pretend anymore that restrictions set down by the law have any effect on teenagers. More and more often you find yourself staring at a headline which says yet another minor was rushed to the ER after having overdosed. Personally, I still freak out when I see an eight-grader smoking on the corner of his own school. I feel that adults, especially teachers, who are directly responsible for students and their activities in school, have no right to let things like that slip by. There can be no such excuse as stating that there is nothing they can do to change the way youth thinks. Adults ignoring their responsibilities and young people ignoring common sense - these are the main reasons, why turning eighteen has basically no relevance in a teenager’s life anymore.

As for those who fear turning eighteen, I think it is quite a natural response. At this point, they are becoming adults, therefore they are also fully responsible for their actions. This alone naturally clashes with the habits of teenagers, for they are accustomed to act first and think later. Furthermore, their parents’ expectations of them rise exponentially. Now that they are adults, they must begin creating their own life without the helping hand of others.

It is important legally, but that doesn’t mean that the eighteen-year-olds are concerned. Otherwise, I don’t have anything to add here.

In my opinion, fear is as unnatural as the often-superficial anticipation is: firstly, nothing can be changed - turning eighteen is just that - turning eighteen, with the only guaranteed change being that of one’s legal status. And, I think, suddenly starting to treat one’s offspring differently as soon as they turn eighteen is bad parenting - the turn might coincide with the beginning of a new episode of their lives, but it might as well had started earlier or will start later — or, even more likely, the transition won’t have such clear boundaries at all, therefore stressing a single date is irrational (either way, we’ve just agreed that turning eighteen isn’t relevant any more, and if this kind of behavior was considered normal, relevance would still be big).

So far we’ve only been stating the problems. What about the solutions? Teaching teenagers that turning eighteen isn’t important? That wouldn’t do any good for their civil consciousness. Raising obedient teenagers? That’s neither realistic nor tolerant. Stricter laws could only worsen the situation in my opinion. Is there anything to be done?

I agree - turning eighteen is just turning eighteen. And you are right, the way parents view their children doesn’t change in one night. However, I still think this fear teenagers speak of is natural. Actually, maybe calling it ‘awareness’ rather than ‘fear’ would be more suitable. No drastic changes occur at that very moment, when you turn eighteen. But even before that, as time moves on, you become aware of the fact that you will be finishing school shortly, that at this point, getting a job would be a smart decision. You realize you do not feel all that comfortable any more asking favors from your parents and that you want to lead your life yourself. As you become aware of these things, you might just get a little nervous, thinking about your eighteenth birthday. Not because you are afraid of turning eighteen, but probably because you are both anticipating and dreading that, which comes next.

I suppose, the first step towards the solution would be identifying the problem. Sure, there is no such thing as an obedient teenager, but I think keeping them preoccupied is one of the most important issues.

This awareness and the fear I was talking about are quite different things - being aware that life’s going to change some time after the eighteenth birthday is not the same as fear of most of the standards associated with legally adult life (having a job, living independently from parents etc.), which is in some ways similar to fear of change or novelty. Awareness, even if not the best way to perceive the event, is a cool-headed viewpoint, while fear has it’s characteristic irrationality.

And how can this be accomplished? I don’t see how any change in teenagers’ habit could happen without forcing it in some way. What teenagers do is mostly what they already want to do, and the unpopularity of alternative activities is definitely not a problem with supply. Advertising campaigns, while effective to some degree, are never enough to reach significant results. Forcing adolescents to choose some sort of legitimate secondary activity would probably generate an even more negative attitude. I honestly don’t see any viable solutions.

Well then, hopefully, not that many teenagers experience actual fear of their eighteenth birthday. While there are those that like to dramatically analyze certain aspects of adult life, I do believe most of them are only responding to popular stereotypes.

In my opinion, mostly everything about a teenager’s life has to do with the way they were raised from their very childhood. Choosing the right company is always important, but the environment the child grows up in has the biggest effect. Honestly, I would say everything depends on the parents. There is not really much to be done when a person is already becoming an adult, but while they are still young, many steps to prevent mistakes later can be taken.

I agree, proper upbringing does the trick. But, by acknowledging this, don’t we accept that the situation will never be perfect? Lack of good role models in many families is a problem of it’s own - in this case, two negatives don’t make a positive. So, I see, the solutions involve either raising a new generation or hoping that current teenagers will realize, what does turning eighteen really mean. Once again we are left to put our faith in humanity and hope for the best. (I have this sudden feeling of helplessness.)